Again by Janet Jackson

Let's get into the softer side of Miss Jackson.

Transcript

Love Lines from ‘Again’ by Janet Jackson


“What’s love without tragedy?” Rihanna asked in a song of the same name from her 2012 Grammy-winning album Unapologetic. The album was released a few years after her infamous incident with fellow R&B singer and ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown. An event we all know by now entailed physical abuse confirmed by a harrowing photograph of Rihanna released shortly after. Hers was an event entailing actual, unequivocal tragedy.

Still, it’s an age-old question. What’s love without heartbreak? Without suffering? Certainly not on a level including abuse of any sort, but without struggle can we call it love at all? I like to believe we can.

I believe the depth of our love should not be measured by how much pain we’re willing to carry in one’s name. There will be conflict, of course. Such is the nature of human interaction. No matter how understanding and alike we are, there remain times when we will disagree. But I like to believe love can sustain its beauty through discourse.

Yet, despite what I like to believe and the best efforts of us all, love does often end or at least endure heartbreak. This is the topic iconic entertainer Janet Jackson explores on “Again,” from the Janet album. The song begins with her getting word of an ex-lover in town. This knowledge opens the floodgate of forgotten memories.

Miss Jackson is having the same pep talk with herself we’ve had with ourselves. She recalls self-promising she’d never fall in love with this person again. She’s trying to figure out how she can be strong in light of the intel she’s received.

Still, Janet makes a powerful, emotionally mature revelation amid her reminiscing.

A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did

Irrespective of the outcome, she knows the objectives of her lover were pure. 

It can be difficult for us to accept let alone admit that a person who hurt us didn’t set out to do so. When, unless you’re dealing with a sociopath or cognizant narcissist, this is more often the case than not. Rarely does one look at another and set out on a mission to destroy them.

Sure, there is dishonesty, game-playing and love bombing, behaviors one could argue a person engages in to get what they want, knowing it will damage the unfortunate individual on the receiving end. There is also lust masquerading as love, waning interest, draining circumstance, and simply not knowing a person until you know them. There is believing you love someone and later realizing you don’t. Sometimes we learn things along the course of a relationship that tell us even if we adore a person, we must walk away from them.

Most don’t set out to break anyone’s heart. Though hearts are broken just the same.

Janet concludes “Again” with a more positive turn down memory lane. She remembers the good lovemaking. This leads her to desire the experience once more. Ultimately, she ends up back in the ex-lover’s arms, asking to be held, asking them to stay this time, to say I love you because she’s falling in love, again—even while unsure she can handle the potential agony.

I live by the Maya Angelou quote, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” I’m no advocate for chasing pain or doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. I actively aim to avoid glorifying toxic unions and, in many cases, view giving a person who hurt us more chances as self-betrayal.

That said, I wrote something about mourning the departure of summer, and someone commented that its fleeting nature is why we hold such deep appreciation for the season. So, maybe I’m missing the point. Perhaps it is love’s impermanence that makes it beautiful—worthy of repeated pursuit.