While We're Young by Jhene Aiko

An ode to youthful adoration.

Transcript

While We’re Young by Jhene Aiko

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Youth is wasted on the young.”

I get it. Imagine if you had the knowledge, experience and understanding that you have now, back then. It’s like, by the time we have the drive and discipline to pursue our dreams or even know what our dreams are—we have financial responsibilities that can make that pursuit so much more challenging. We might one day realize we were pretty good at a sport and wish we’d taken playing it more seriously when our bodies were in optimal shape and our energy was endless. There often comes a point where we realize all the things we didn’t know we didn’t know when we were younger, and the opportunities we may have squandered as a result. 

We might look up and realize we’ve built a life that we’re not excited to live. And we should be—excited to live our lives, that is. Every day may not evoke the same level of enthusiasm but when we are filled with purpose and surrounded by people and circumstances and priorities that make us look forward to rising from bed in the mornings, anticipation for the day comes naturally. 

It’s when we’re older, and we become aware that we’re not in this place, that the years that led us here can feel wasted.

Often, by the time we learn to appreciate the little things and savor beautiful but fleeting moments, so many have passed us by. Sometimes, once we’ve learned the value of love, we’ve already lost so much of it. These losses can make us jaded and guarded. Stuck in our ways. Even though we can still appreciate what love adds to our lives and may even crave intimate connection—it might not be as easy as it once was to surrender to it. 

We know too much. We’ve seen too much. We’ve hurt too much. 

It’s never too late to be who you might have been or build the life and love you imagine. It’s just, sometimes we get trapped inside our comfort zone. Breaking the habit of being yourself can feel exhausting. But everything you want is waiting for you on the other side.

So many things but especially love seemed easier when we were younger. Back in the day, relationships were just about who you liked. If they liked you back, the two of you decided to partner up. 

I miss that more carefree dating period. Because we’re often so caught up in analyzing a person that we can’t fully enjoy them. We’re so invested in where the relationship is going that we can’t enjoy where it is. We can’t just have a good time anymore. I hate that we lose that ability. 

And I love that Jhene Aiko understands this on While We’re Young. She urges her partner to do something dumb. To get crazy and have just have fun. She savors this preciousness of young love with these lines:

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it
Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love
Right by your side
I’ll go everywhere you go

It’s the way she fights for her vulnerable heart, for this moment to be protected. As though not only does she understand its value, but its fragility. Its fleeting nature.

Young love is beautiful because of its boldness. Because of its innocence. It does not hold enough history to concern itself with the future.

Psychologists talk about how we lose our sense of play and wonder as we age. But that it’s important to rediscover. Because play can help us reconnect with our emotions, harness happiness, and ease negative emotions. 

Research proves that adults' imaginations continue to grow and change throughout adulthood, with those over 60 showing the most originality. According to Creating Minds, adults become less creative as they age not because of a natural decline, but due to falling into cognitive traps. The main reason we become less imaginative as we age is that learning more about the world around us and our perception of what is or isn't possible affects our creativity. It’s not a simple, natural fade that comes with getting older.

This lack of imaginative approach affects how we move through the world. Including how we love. We get so serious. We have so many criteria. So many boxes a potential partner must check and standards they must measure against. 

Rightfully so. We’re older now. Wiser now. There’s more on the line, now.

As we grow older and wiser, we become more conscious of our dwindling time and don’t want to waste any of it. Yet, in knowing that the days ahead of us are lessening with every instance we open our eyes in the morning, shouldn’t our goal be to make the most of each one, instead? Instead of worrying about if time is being wasted, maybe worry that time is not being seized. All we have for sure is the ever-evolving present. We can spend it fretting and vetting and waiting. Or, we can spend it laughing, and kissing, and hugging.

Though the term young may reference age, youthfulness, is universal. It is not limited to any set number of years. 

We can’t turn back the hands of time. But we can charge ourselves with living and loving as though we are forever young. As long as it doesn’t harm anyone, do something dumb. Do something crazy and impulsive in the name of love for no other reason that the pleasure it brings. Let’s not ever allow love to become this mundane, routine thing that we cannot fully appreciate because we are not allowing it to fully flourish.